It’s fair to wish the world would stop right where it is and give us time to gather our thoughts and sort out our lives, but it’s important to know it never does.
All any of us ever really want is time; time to put the pieces together, time to understand exactly what is happening, time to make sure our thoughts and actions align, but what we are given is all we have; no more, no less. Yes, it would be convenient to be granted the ability to tell the universe and its people to freeze when need be in order to pick up the pace and catch up with the rest of them, but that’s life; not everyone is walking at the same speed, and just because one of us come across a stop sign or red light doesn’t mean someone else will come across the same in their path. Since the world doesn’t stop for you, you shouldn’t stop either. Gather your thoughts, sort the pieces, and solve the puzzles, but all while you’re putting one foot in front of the other, showing the world that whatever life chooses to throw your way, you will tackle head on, one step at a time.
We can wish on all the stars in the sky for a different turn out of events, but at the end of the day, it is what it is.
Life isn’t a fairy tale, and we’ve heard this countless times by all sorts of cynics and non-believers. But it really has nothing to do with what you believe because at the end of the day, a story is a story; you can’t turn the pages of a book into your reality. Of course there are villains and unfortunate turn of events in fairy tales just like real life, but fairy tales are known for their happy endings, and sometimes in life, not every ending is a happy one and we could wish for it to have turned out differently, but there is no going back once something has already happened. As the years pass by, you come to the realization that life consists of a lot of settling for what is, of compromises, of damaged hopes because the past cannot be changed. So you take a deep breath, tell yourself it is what it is and you move forward to whatever else life has to offer you. Just remember, settling and compromises are not always a bad thing, sometimes they are the only things that allow you to make peace with your past and help you realize that at the end of the day, it is what it is.
You must learn to forgive yourself.
Forgive yourself: for breaking your own heart, for not always paying attention to yourself, for not listening to yourself, for allowing others to come before you. You must learn to forgive yourself because if you don’t, you will bury yourself under the weight of all those mistakes and regrets because it is far too heavy to carry around with you. You are your weakest link at times; you will be the toughest obstacle in your own course during many cross roads in your lifetime. But, you have to learn to forgive. Seeking forgiveness from others and allowing yourself to forgive others is not always enough. First, you must learn to forgive yourself for whatever it may be that is holding you down. Once you forgive yourself, you also free yourself and that is one of the best feelings in the world.
Sometimes, there is no such thing as “getting over it.”
One of the most ridiculous and overly used phrases. Certain events in our lives become a part of our identity, their significance is so great that there is really never any way out of the memories those events have created, there is no way to ever completely free yourself from them, but that’s perfectly okay. Getting over it means to have forgotten and sometimes there is no need to forget, in fact, often times the situations we are told we will get over or that we should get over are the ones we could never actually fathom completely forgetting. There’s never a need to get over it, only to get through it. Because when you get through it, you come out a much stronger person, an individual who carries the memories attached to that event as a positive keepsake forever. The only way out is through.
Trying to beat inevitability is a fool’s game. You must accept and adapt to what you cannot change, and what is bound to happen.
A determined and successful individual is most often the one who speaks of creating their life on their own terms, without believing in fate or destiny. They make their own rules. But, no one has ever been able to fight and win against the inevitable. Certain aspects of life cannot be fought with, and this relates back to Number 2 because once again, some things just are and there is no way around them. The trick is to adapt and to accept. You can think of it as the Survival of the Fittest; if you can change and adapt according to your environment, you survive and therefore you win. It’s a part of life; ongoing change and inevitability are two constants in this fast paced game and sometimes the one who refuses to accept that and adapt loses in the end.
Take all the negativity out.
When you take out all the toxins in your life, you allow yourself a fresh and clean start. When you get rid of all the negativity, all the empty spaces fill up with positivity. Whether it be negative thoughts or negative people, it is your responsibility and your right to discard them from your life because they do you no good. If someone or something no longer brings you happiness, positivity, encouragement, growth or motivation, you are allowed to walk away and there is never any reason to feel bad for doing so. There are many things in life we cannot control because they are simply out of reach, however choosing who and what stays or goes is, at times, no one’s choice but our own. And when given that choice, allowing negative thoughts and people to build a home in your life when that’s not the right place is stupidity. Let go of one negative and a handful of positives will replace it.
You do not owe anyone anything.
Do not allow someone to make you believe otherwise. We are all here to be the best we can be, to fight our own battles, to find our own ways, to build our own lives and you don’t owe anyone anything in order to help them through any of it. Be your own person and make your own decisions because dependence on others keeps you at their whim, but if you are independent, then no one has the authority to tell you that you owe them anything; not your time, not your money, not your love, nothing. What you are willing to give out of love and selflessness is solely your decision but only ever give because you want to, not because you think you should or because it is expected of you or because someone has you believing that you owe them something. Whatever you give, give whole heartedly without any expectations. Whatever you receive, receive with appreciation without ever looking back to see if there is more.
Just like you don’t owe anyone anything, this world also owes you nothing at all.
To be living in this world and being given space amongst so many others is a huge gift in itself, nobody owes you anything more. It is as simple as that. If you want it, you must work hard to achieve it. Life is not always fair and you will not always succeed the first time but that in no way whatsoever means that the one who has what you want owes it to you. If others have worked hard toward their goals, why should your dreams be fulfilled any differently? As said previously, receive with appreciation without ever looking back to see if there is more because most often, what you are given is out of good intentions, love and well wishes, it’s not because someone owes you, so do not allow yourself to believe that you will be handed everything you have ever wanted on a golden plate. The world doesn’t owe you anything.
Do not waste your time and energy on explaining yourself to someone who refuses to take a look at something from your perspective.
We all want someone who understands, someone who is willing to step in our shoes even if it is just for a little while, but it does not always happen. In order to understand, we must see from a different perspective, must make our own everything that belongs to someone else; emotions, thoughts, hardships, everything. Understanding only comes with explaining; it’s a two way street. We cannot always expect the individuals who are closest to us to always understand and therefore, it’s necessary to explain. But, explanations are not always asked for because there is a want for understanding, sometimes they are asked for as a gateway to blaming. Explain yourself only when you know the listener is completely listening and understands. However, if they are unwilling to take a look at things from your perspective, they are not worth your time and energy. They are not worthy of you.
Growing up is a part of life; physically and mentally. If someone cannot keep up, let them go.
We have all made the countless promises to childhood friends to be best friends forever no matter what and to always keep in touch. We do not realize that these promises are usually always made in the years where our lives consist of our homes, school, and the playgrounds. Our world only stretches so far and it is easy and completely fair to believe that we will be able to continue on with our lives with our best friends forever by our sides. However, as we grow older and wiser, we see many more angles of life and this world, but not always at the same pace as the rest of our friends. Life takes us in all sorts of directions and the hands we once held on to could have only stretched so far. Our values, our goals, our dreams; these all change according to what we have seen in life and what we want to see in life and those are never the same for every person. Our understanding of the world and our grasp on life is very dependent on what we have faced throughout life and it’s not fair to always expect someone to broaden their understanding on something they have never been through. And so, some of us grow older, stronger and wiser more quickly than others. And when our mentalities, our values and our understandings do not align with one another’s it becomes difficult to fulfill the promises we made so long ago. If certain relationships begin to seem more like a chore because there is no understanding, no tolerance and no keeping up, it is time to let go. Just know that when there is nothing else you can do to save a friendship, respect each other enough to let go without any blame, without any hurt. You can’t always keep everyone with you, and you cannot always expect them to walk the same path you do. It is better to go your separate ways and walk away with a lifetime of good memories if nothing else.
TO BE CONTINUED….